It’s Tuesday 27th July and that makes it Norfolk Day. No, this is not something that I’ve made up, but a real thing here. We are going to celebrate everything Norfolk apparently – probably by communal tutting and making that odd ‘huh’ sound that Norfolk people do, which can only be described as a cross between a dog bark and the opening note of a Haka, accompanied by a horse-like head toss. If you’ve been ‘huh’d’ it’s like a knife through your heart.
I expect the local paper and social media will be full of things to help you experience the ‘real Norfolk’ such a walking along Holkham Beach in a haze of Boden and Hunters, eating fish and chips on Cromer Pier whilst fighting off the gulls, listening to Elton John warble at Blickling Hall whilst two women knit furiously behind you and chat loudly as he gets emotional during ‘Candle in the Wind’. These kind of things.
My idea of a Norfolk experience slightly differs. I think that you have not fully experienced Norfolk without a ride on the Snails at Joyland in Yarmouth. It’s every child’s rite of passage here. You are crammed into a large, painted snail and hurtled around quite violently along an undulating track whilst clinging on with your little sweaty hands to the handrail. A friend of mine told me he was going to sue them for whiplash and I think he was only possibly joking. He was from Berkshire, after all.
For the sea-swimming experience, I would suggest anywhere true and authentic. That is anywhere where the sea is slightly grey, when any skin resembles a blue plucked chicken in under ten seconds when exposed to the air, and where there is a lot of seaweed. You don’t get the full experience without something slightly scratchy and slimy touching your leg in the murk – especially if you are slightly out of your depth. My dad used to enjoy flinging the odd bit of seaweed and yelling, ‘Look out!’ as it thwacked the water beside you – cue screeching and trying to run away through chest-deep water, across foot-ripping stones. Actually, he used to also (I say ‘also’ but he will do it now, given half a chance) take the top off a tomato and cup his hands with one of the green ‘legs’ poking out and yes, he would also fling that whilst shouting ‘Spider!’ All this backfired quite terribly one Christmas when I was very tiny. We were decorating the sitting room and dad had brought in a piece of holly and jokingly poked me with it. Having observed the boys next door I knew what to do and promptly stuck my two fingers up. Horrified silence followed.
For the fish and chip part of the Norfolk experience I cannot recommend Norwich Market enough. It’s an excellent place for food and you will meet some brilliant people on there. Plus you don’t need to wear Boden or carry a wicker basket.
Decent music can be found in many places around Norfolk. When the plague has passed and we can mingle again, go and see a band at Blakeney Harbour Rooms. It’s a fabulous place with some really brilliant bands. The highlight for me so far has been Dr Feelgood, but when you are dancing to a Rolling Stones Tribute act who look and sound like the Stones did on film from the 70s, with a roomful of friends, life cannot get much better. Again, no Boden needed – in fact, it is actively discouraged.
There are some wonderful well publicised Norfolk walking routes such as the Coastal Path, but I would urge you to look at a map and find a little footpath that seems to border fields and make yourself a circular walk. I’ve discovered the most beautiful spots around here which I would never have found without the imposed restrictions of lockdown – and I’m really grateful. Nothing beats a quiet little green lane, where the trees almost meet above your head and the ground has that thwump as you walk.
I would also say go and have a drink in a traditional Norfolk pub. You know the kind of place – comfortable wooden chairs and benches, perhaps a fire in winter, people gathered at the bar, talking and passing the time of day with their neighbours and not a gastro-pub menu in sight. If you know where one is now, do let me know, as I’ve love to go to one too.
Happy Norfolk Day!
Norfolk Notes 